Sometimes God uses other blessings to test how well we would do when exercising our freewill in decision making. Do this or that? Stay or go? Most of the time, it is not easy to choose which to accept and which to turn down.
It was one of these hard moments that I was presented with two choices. I chose what I thought would make me happy. Later that day, I became uneasy, almost as if my decision made me guilty. Then I realized it was God’s rebuke. For a moment, I felt ashamed. For how could I truthfully say that I follow Christ when I cannot let him Lord over ALL of my time?
If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. —Luke 9:23-24
What was I thinking? Immediately thereafter, I lost no time in making things right. God gave me a change of heart. Another chance. I would’ve failed that test, but God—most gracious and loving God—gave me a second chance.
Soon after, I had a good night’s sleep and woke up this morning with vigor renewed. I thank God for rebuking me when I was about to make a decision that I would soon regret. Small voice. We have to listen hard to hear it. We have to listen hard.