Frail as a flower, wobbling like a wonky wheel.
The sun beautifully shining while scorching my skin.
The journey is anything but easy.
Things always find themselves messy.
Marching on, forward, I go forward.
In complete surrender, dropping my guard.
Knowing that when my strength fails me, and it surely will.
It will be Your grace I will see and feel.
Sometimes God uses other blessings to test how well we would do when exercising our freewill in decision making. Do this or that? Stay or go? Most of the time, it is not easy to choose which to accept and which to turn down.
It was one of these hard moments that I was presented with two choices. I chose what I thought would make me happy. Later that day, I became uneasy, almost as if my decision made me guilty. Then I realized it was God’s rebuke. For a moment, I felt ashamed. For how could I truthfully say that I follow Christ when I cannot let him Lord over ALL of my time?
If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. —Luke 9:23-24
What was I thinking? Immediately thereafter, I lost no time in making things right. God gave me a change of heart. Another chance. I would’ve failed that test, but God—most gracious and loving God—gave me a second chance.
Soon after, I had a good night’s sleep and woke up this morning with vigor renewed. I thank God for rebuking me when I was about to make a decision that I would soon regret. Small voice. We have to listen hard to hear it. We have to listen hard.
Spit on. Insulted. Whipped. Humiliated.
This man was innocent.
Yet he took it all in.
A healer. Master of nature. The best teacher. Son of God.
He could have made it all go away.
Yet he took it all in.
For you. For me. For the very people who persecuted him.
This man was innocent, blameless, sinless.
Yet he chose to die to pay for the sins of all mankind.
This is no justice. It can only be GRACE.
I am weak, Lord.
Rebuke me when I am tempted to talk back, complain, or criticize.
These do not glorify you.
I tend to forget, Lord.
Remind me that I live for you alone–not for the people around me.
They do not have the slightest hint of my relationship with you.
I am easily troubled, Lord.
Teach me to give it all to you every day, without ceasing.
This makes you smile.